While We're Waiting What We Believe

The leadership of the While We’re Waiting ministry believes that the following statements are true, according to the Word of God.  Those who attend our retreats and support group meetings are not required to share these beliefs, only to respect the right of the leadership and other members of the group to hold and articulate these beliefs.

1. God comforts us so that we may comfort others.

We believe that God is “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort” (2 Cor. 1:3–4). His comfort is not merely emotional but deeply spiritual, a strengthening of faith through His presence and promises. Having received His comfort, we are called to reflect His compassion by comforting others in their affliction. This shared experience of divine consolation becomes a ministry of grace, showing that our suffering is not wasted but redeemed in service to others (Phil. 1:12–14). We believe God comforts us through all sorts of means, ways, and methods. 

2. Healing is found in Jesus Christ.

We believe that the Lord “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psa. 147:3). True healing comes through the person and work of Jesus Christ, who bore our sorrows and was acquainted with grief (Isa. 53:3–5). While complete healing awaits the resurrection, we can experience genuine restoration, peace, and empowerment now through His Spirit’s presence. Our grief is tempered and informed by hope, for we know that death does not have the final word (1 Thess. 4:13–18; John 11:25–26). Healing from child loss does not mean you never feel pain but that the Lord sustains and upholds you to live well as you honor Him and your child. 

3. God is sovereign over life and death.

We believe that every person’s days are ordained by God before one of them came to be (Psa. 139:16). Human life is sacred and its length is not random but under His wise and loving sovereignty (Job 14:5; Ecc. 8:8). This truth doesn’t erase our pain but anchors us in trust that our child’s death was not outside of God’s knowledge or control. We can trust His wisdom, power, and knowledge when we don’t fully understand. 

4. God’s ways are mysterious but trustworthy.

We believe that “the secret things belong to the Lord our God” (Deut. 29:29). Some questions, such as why one child lives and another dies, may never be answered in this life. Yet we trust the revealed truth that God is good, wise, and loving (Rom. 11:33–36). Faith accepts His mysteries with reverence and hope rather than resentment and bitterness. Though it is common and normal for bereaved parents to wrestle with those thorny “why” questions, we believe it is the best practice to lay them at the feet of the Lord and trust even when we don’t understand. We will understand it better in the End. 

5. Grief is not sin, but sin can grow from grief.

We believe that sorrow and lament are holy expressions of love and loss. Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend (John 11:35) and carried sorrows Himself (Isa. 53:3). Yet we are cautioned not to let grief lead us into bitterness, anger, or despair (Eph. 4:26–31). The Spirit comforts and sanctifies us in our mourning, producing gentleness and peace rather than destruction (Gal. 5:22–23). There are unhealthy ways of grief such as harming yourself, hurting others, and turning to the fleeting things of the world instead of the Lord. 

6. Our children’s deaths are not punishment for our sin.

We believe that the full penalty for sin was paid by Jesus Christ on the cross (Isa. 53:5–6; Rom. 8:1; 2 Cor. 5:21). While suffering exists because of the fall, our personal tragedies are not divine retribution. God disciplines to refine, not to condemn (Heb. 12:5–11). Therefore, we reject guilt and shame as false burdens. God desires that His children walk in freedom and not take on the burden of false guilt. 

7. God does not “need” our children in Heaven.

We believe that God is self-sufficient and needs nothing from His creation (Acts 17:24–25). Heaven is not impoverished without our children; rather, Heaven is the fullness of God’s glory. Their presence there magnifies His grace, not His need. Our children are not being shortchanged by leaving us and going to Heaven to enter into God’s presence. 

8. God is good and loving, even in loss.

We believe that God’s character is love (1 John 4:8) and that He is always good (Psa. 100:5). The existence of pain does not diminish His goodness. It drives us to deeper trust in His redemptive purposes (Rom. 8:28-30; Eph. 1:11). The cross of Christ stands as the ultimate proof that God can bring life and hope from unimaginable suffering. It is proof that God loves us. 

9. Death entered through sin, but Christ conquered it.

We believe that death is not natural to God’s good creation but the result of humanity’s rebellion (Gen. 3:17–19; Rom. 5:12). Yet Christ has overcome death through His resurrection (1 Cor. 15:20–26). Therefore, we grieve not as those without hope but as those awaiting resurrection and reunion. While God can bring good out of the death of our children, their deaths are not good in themselves. God hates sin, evil, and death and will destroy them in the End.

10. The enemy seeks to condemn, but God justifies.

We believe that Satan is the accuser who delights in our guilt and despair (Rev. 12:10; John 8:44). But Jesus intercedes for us, silencing every accusation with His righteousness (Rom. 8:1, 33–34; Heb. 7:25). We resist the devil by standing firm in faith and drawing near to God (James 4:7–8; Rom. 16:20). The community of faith can help us hold fast to our assurance and reject the attacks of the Enemy (Heb. 3:12-13; 10:24-25. We should daily put on the armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20). 

11. God forgives fully and freely.

We believe that even if we bear responsibility or regret, God’s mercy covers all who confess their sin (1 John 1:9; Psa. 32:1–7). His forgiveness is total, final, and liberating and covers our sins past, present, and in the future. Through Christ, we are no longer slaves to guilt, but free to live in grace (Gal. 5:1; Rom. 8:31–39).

12. Forgiveness toward others is the way of Christ.

We believe that forgiveness reflects the gospel itself (Eph. 4:32). As forgiven people, we extend forgiveness, even to those whose words or actions deepen our pain. This does not mean enduring harm, but releasing vengeance to God (Rom. 12:19–21). Forgiveness restores our hearts to peace and opens the door for God’s healing work. We believe forgiveness is both a process and an event and requires the empowering presence of the Spirit, especially when great evil has been done to us or our families. 

13. God is righteous and above reproach.

We believe that anger toward God can be a common response to pain, yet sustained anger assumes we know better than He does. Job’s story reminds us that God’s wisdom is unsearchable and His justice unassailable (Job 40–42). We are invited to bring our honest emotions to Him, but ultimately to bow in worship and trust (Psa. 13; Hab. 3:17–19). God does all things well and perfect, though we cannot fully see this in this life. His ways are higher than our ways (Isa. 55:8-9) but His ways are also perfect and just (Psa. 18:30). He never gives anyone injustice (Gen. 18:25; Deut. 32:4).

14. People do not become angels.

We believe that humans and angels are distinct creations of God (Gen. 1:26–27; Heb. 2:5–9). Our children are not angels; they are redeemed image-bearers of God. Their destiny is far greater: to be resurrected and glorified with Christ (Phil. 3:20–21). There’s a great dignity in being a human being. No other creature in reality is given the privilege of being made in the image and likeness of God. Human beings have infinite value, worth, and dignity.

15. We do not seek contact with the dead.

We believe that all attempts to communicate with the dead are forbidden by God (Deut. 18:10–12). Our hope is not in “signs” but in the sure promises of Scripture. Yet God, in His kindness, may bring comfort through His Word, creation, and the care of others, always pointing us back to Himself, not to our children as mediators. Seeking signs can subtly remove the focus from God who abundantly comforts us. It opens us to spiritual deception and attack from the Enemy of our souls. Seeking signs from our children can also remove the focus from eternity and place it upon earthly things, oftentimes things that are unduly cryptic and unhelpful. Our children remain human beings and do not gain omnipotence in Heaven. 

16. Salvation is through Christ alone.

We believe that only through faith in Jesus Christ can a person enter Heaven (John 14:6; Rom. 10:9–10; Acts 4:12). Salvation is not earned but received by grace through faith. Since only God knows the heart, we refrain from judging the eternal state of others. Instead, we lovingly urge each parent to trust in Christ for eternal life and future reunion.

17. Salvation is by grace, not works.

We believe that eternal life is a gift of God’s grace (Eph. 2:8–9). Our goodness cannot earn Heaven and our failures cannot lose it (Rom. 8:1, 8:29-30; John 3:36, 5:24, 6:4-7, 38-40, 10:27-29; 1 John 5:13; Eph. 1:13-14; Phil. 1:6; 1 Pet. 1:5; Jud. 1:24). Christ’s righteousness is our only standing before God. This truth frees us from striving and brings rest to weary souls (Matt. 11:28-30). 

18. We trust God’s mercy for infants and young children.

We believe that though Scripture does not explicitly state the fate of infants, God’s revealed character assures us of His mercy, justice, and compassion (Gen. 18:25; 2 Pet. 3:9). David’s confidence that he would one day go to his child (2 Sam. 12:23) gives us hope that our little ones are safe with Jesus. The Lord beckons the children to himself (Luke 18:16-17; Matt. 19:13-15; Mark 10:13-16). The Bible does strongly imply through various ways that our children are safe within His arms. 

19. Believers go immediately to be with Christ at death

We believe that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. 5:8). Death for the believer is not a delay but a doorway into the presence of Jesus (Heb. 9:27, 12:23; Luke 23:43; Phil. 1:19-26). Our children who trusted in Him — or who died under His mercy — are now alive with Him. We do not believe in the unbiblical doctrines of soul sleep or purgatory. 

20. Waiting is a calling, not a void.

We believe that our waiting is not passive but purposeful. God has prepared good works for us even in our grief (Eph. 2:10, 4:1; Phil. 1:27; Col. 1:10). As we wait for the glorious reunion, we serve, love, and encourage others (James 1:22; Heb. 10:24–25; 1 Thess. 5:14). Our pain becomes a platform for eternal ministry.

21. The New Heaven and New Earth is our true home.

We believe that Heaven is a real, physical, and glorious dwelling place of God and His redeemed people (Rev. 21:1–7). Our children are alive in His presence and one day we will join them in resurrection life. This hope transforms our perspective on earthly sorrow (Col. 3:1–4).

22. God redeems suffering for His glory and our good.

We believe that God uses even our deepest pain to shape us into Christ’s image (Rom. 8:28–29). Our suffering is not meaningless. It becomes part of His redemptive tapestry. The wounds of grief become windows through which His compassion and faithfulness shine.

23. Lament is a valid and needed form of worship.

We believe that honest lament is not faithlessness but faith expressed through pain (Psa. 42; Lam. 3). God invites our cries, listens with compassion, and meets us there. In lament, we affirm both the brokenness of this world and the hope of God’s coming restoration. We live within the tension of the already and not yet. We are redeemed but are awaiting for God’s full and final salvation when He resurrects all things. 

24. The resurrection is our ultimate comfort.

We believe that our hope is anchored in the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ, guaranteeing our own resurrection and reunion (1 Cor. 15:20–23; Phil. 3:10–11). Because He lives, death is defeated, and every tear will one day be wiped away (Rev. 21:4). Because He lives, we can face not only tomorrow but our yesterdays. 

25. Christ will make all things new.

We believe that the story of grief ends not in darkness but in restoration. When Christ returns, He will renew creation, reunite His people, and eradicate death forever (Rev. 22:1–5). Satan will be vanquished, sorrow will be redeemed, justice will be given, believers will be rewarded, and God will be all in all. Until that day, we live in hopeful expectation, proclaiming that He makes no mistakes and wastes no tears.